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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740933">Helping Arthur with his laughing condition</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl'>ArthurFlecksGirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Joker (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Fluff, Love, Mental Illness, Romance, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:35:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You try to calm Arthur down, helping him to breathe, during his painful laughter....</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Fleck/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Helping Arthur with his laughing condition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Arthurs painful laughter got a lot better since you lived together. It didn`t came too often anymore to torture him. You made him feel loved for the first time in his entire life and he knew that you would never leave his side, no matter what. That his laughing condition isnt something that would scare you away, like it happened with so many other people he met before in his life. It was hard for you to watch it, but only because you didnt wanted him to be in so much pain.<br/>
*Bu sometimes the laughter would still crawl up his throath. He felt very comfortable around you, so it barely happened but when it does it was bad. The laughter would come back when he was waking up from nightmares or when something reminded him of his childhood.<br/>
*It started as a feeling of being uncomfy, embrarrassed, scared and grew into pure angst and anxiety. Panic even. It grew inside of him like a shadow, swallowing all the light. It felt like what everyone feels while being in so much pain, all you can do is cry your eyes out till they`re burning red. But Arthur COULDN`T cry. Joker won`t let him.<br/>
*Arthur`s traumatic childhood was the reason why he cried himself to sleep everyday when he was a little kid. Penny and her boyfriend always told him to stop crying,to put on a happy face instead, to LAUGH instead, so the neighbors wouldnt hear his screams at night. Everyone should think that he is a happy little boy, laughing all the time. So he did. Everytime he felt his eyes watering he told himself that he shuld laugh instead. Otherwise Pennys boyfriend would do bad things to him. So he laughed, harder and harder, until the tears dried. And soon the tears wouldn`t even come anymore. All that was left of his cry was laughter. And no matter how much he wished to be able to let the tears come as an adult, he wasnt able to do it anymore.<br/>
*Joker wouldnt let him cry. Joker, who was created over the years. Created to protect Arthur from bullies. From all the bad people out there who want to hurt him. Joker was stronger than Arthur, he could stand up for himself. And he would stand up for Arthur. Joker was convinced, that the only way to survive this trauma, was to see comedy in tragedy. So everytime Arthur felt like crying, Joker was right there, laughing. His life was nothing but a comedy.<br/>
*Joker himself WAS able to cry actually.<br/>
*Everytime Arthur felt his painful laughter growing in him, crawling up his throath, he tried to keep in under control, to stop it. He was fighting against it so hard. All he wanted was to cry. He hated the sound of laughter coming out of his mouth instead. He was embarrassed by himself. Which made him so uncomfortable that it got even worse. Arthur was  fighting the urge to laugh so hard that he couldnt even breathe proberly anymore. Trying to stop was chocking him. The pain in his eyes was undeniable. But no tears. No tears would come to free him from this pain.<br/>
*When you started dating it was bad. He would laugh in situations he thought he did something wrong or when he thought he was disappointing you. Arthur was very afraid to laugh in front of you in the beginning. He was convinced that you coudlnt take it, that you would think he is a freak. It took months to convince him, that you love him unconditionally and that you wanted to help him with his laughter.<br/>
*Everytime he felt it coming, he looked at you, short of air and you would go up to him , wrapp your  arms around him and tell him that its going to be okay. That its okay to let it out, even if its a laugh instead of a cry. He just needs to let it out.<br/>
*It was hard for you to hear him trying to breathe. To hear the laugh that was proof of his horrible past. A past he couldnt escape. But even though his past was something you could not change. You changed his present. And you will change his future. The two of you together. And with time passing by, the laugh would lose its purpose.<br/>
*"Its okay, Arthur, just let it out" you told him, as you both sat on the bed, your arms wrapped around his fragile body from behind, your hands both on his chest. You waited till the worst part of his laugh was over, holding him close, told him how much you love him. Your words and embrace calmed him down, but you still felt his whole body shaking.<br/>
*As the laughter became lighter you caressed his chest from behind and told him to breathe with you. Your embrace so warm and tight, he could feel you breathing in and out. So he could try to breathe in sync with you, which helped him a lot. "Shhhht shhht darling" you said "I`m here with you and its going to be fine.  We share the same air. Just feel the air going in and out of you. I`m here. I`m here with you and I always will be".<br/>
*You kneed behind him. His shaky body inside your loving emrace as you pressed your cheek upon his cheek, kissing his face. There was still so much pain in his beautiful eyes. "Close your eyes,Arhur, feel my embrace.  Feel the love I hold for you in my heart. "<br/>
*You kissed his eyelids carefully as he closed his eyes. His eyelashed soft against your lips. A quiet whimper escaped his mouth. And after a few minutes he would manage to beathe in sync with your body. You felt that his chest was lifting up and down, just as calmly as yours. So in sync that it felt like ONE body. "Shhhht, Artie, just think of how much I love you, okay? . He nodded, breathing in.<br/>
*It felt so good to feel his body starting to relax again. The muscles on his arms not as tense anymore. Even his stomach started to relax under your loving touch.<br/>
*"I can feel you breathing" he whispered as he was able to talk again. His voice finally came back.. ou kissed his shoulders gently, telling him that you are proud of him.<br/>
*Arthur was so thankful everytime you did this for him. He told you how much he loved you and craweld up under the blankets with you, to get some rest. Because this was really exhausting for him. You spooned him from behind,pulling him close to your body. He was compleately calm now.<br/>
*"Can you....sing me a song?" he asked you. You singing him lullabies always helped him with his insomnia. "Of course Artie". Your hand touched the curls in his neck as you began to sing :"The moon is a silver dollar,shining up in the sky. There is a dream we can buy. Sweetheart, you and I. The moon is a silver dollar, made for lovers to share. And with you in my arms, I´m am illionaire"<br/>
And right before he drifted away into sleep, a happy tear was running down his beautiful face.<br/>
He was  finally crying.</p>
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